my Arte Suave

Life and BJJ

This weekend brought out a side of me I had not seen of my self since my deployment to Iraq in 2005-2006. I was very upset with someone this weekend. I am usually very happy go lucky, ” im going to be a world champ if it breaks me” kind of attitude, I feel like I am always on top of the world thanks to the glory and greatness that is Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I allowed someone to influence me in a way where I wasn’t looking ahead at my goals. I feel like I let someone bring me way down. Abu Dhabi Pro Gi trials are right there, two weeks away.

What I’m saying is one of my most oldest relationships ended, and I’m not talking about a women, I am talking about a best friend. This has shaken me to the core, I’m not sad, I am angry, that I let it come to this. That I wasn’t a better enough person to stop things from getting to a point where its almost irreparable. I feel betrayed. I can’t say this won’t happen again, but I feel this important enough to document to understand why things will happen the way they will happen as my BJJ season kicks off with the Abu Dhabi Trials nearing. This is my journal and I acknowledge that I let myself be taken astray, I will be stronger because of this.

“When you crumple up a paper it can’t be perfect again”

On another note. It’s almost time to go and fight. I have been waiting for this for a long time!